For the past several months, life has had a way of sprinting ahead and leaving me in a perpetual state of trying to catch up, all the while huffing and puffing. (Not hard to do considering how out of shape I am lately.) Now here I am with a brief window of opportunity to catch up just a bit while I spend the weekend out of town by myself. I'm attending a continuing education course, so while my time away won't be restful, I am still away. For just a few hours I can sit in this hotel room and have nothing to distract me from relaxing - no dishes to wash, no clothes to fold, no leftover paperwork to finish up, no boxes to pack. I can sit...and be.
When I start to think about all the changes I've had in the past three months, it makes my head spin. Sometimes I look around me and can barely remember how I got here. I mean, I saw it all coming, and I prepared for it along the way...but I still can't always get my mind around it.
Three years and almost three months ago I moved to South Dakota. Home. Three years and one month later, I moved back to Kansas. Home.
I have two homes, one just as real and true as the other. That has been a blessing as well as a challenge. Two homes would be much easier if they were in the same place. Nine hours is a very complicating distance.
The magnitude of what I left behind two months ago doesn't escape me. I had many good things, and I miss them. Even though God used my time there to break and rebuild me, He didn't leave me unblessed. I miss those blessings.
I miss my chatting with my girls at work. I miss my church family. I miss leading worship. I miss living in a region that grows only small spiders. I miss the town. I miss the South Dakota license plates on my car. I miss my best friend.
I miss my home.
But mingled in with that is the overwhelming joy of new blessings. I have a new job that I enjoy, complete with new coworkers to chat with. I am closer to my family and old friends. I have a beautiful home. I found a new church family that has welcomed me enthusiastically. I am becoming part of a wonderful new praise team. I am building new relationships.
I am home.
I have never felt more alive than I have these past two months. I don't know for sure what God is doing, but I know He has changed me. I can see what I was, and I can see what He has made me. He has restored me, transformed me, and He is pouring so much on me now that I don't know how to receive it.