Well, here goes. I took a deep breath and walked into her room.
I putzed around for a few moments. She needed help pouring water into her cup, so I did that for her. Then handed her the glass to take a drink. Pretty soon there was nothing left to distract me from doing what I came to do without creating an even more awkward presence. So I sat.
Is it ok if I talk to you for a few minutes?
...I was thinking about you yesterday...and...I feel like God wants me to ask you this...I know you've had a lot to think about lately with everything...
She muttered her agreement.
...and...um...are you confident with where you're going when you die?
She didn't miss much of a beat. Told me she's ready to go, but doesn't understand why she has to go through all this. Started to recap her experience over the past several weeks, and then an aide entered the room to take her into the bathroom. At some point she had pushed her call light. If it was before or after I showed up, I have no idea. For all I know, she pushed it as soon as I started stammering around so someone would come relieve her of the situation.
So she and the aide headed to the bathroom. And I left.
I don't know what I was expecting. I couldn't help thinking how cool it would be if I could've left her room celebrating a new conversion to Christ. Or at least having a long conversation about heaven and what it's going to be like.
I can't say I was prepared for the brief two and a half minutes that had caused my tummy to ache over for the past eighteen hours. Or for the fatigue of waking up early to see her before work. Or for the crazy whirlwind day that followed.
Yesterday kicked my butt.
I don't think I regret doing it. I'm mostly sure it's what God was asking me to do. I can't see any immediate benefit from the situation. No one was saved who wasn't already reportedly saved. Friends prayed with me the night before, and I have no exciting answered prayers to share with them and rejoice over. I was stretched and stepped out in faith, and I'm pretty sure next time isn't going to be any easier. I have no solid conclusions to come to, other than I did it and now it's over.
Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give
the reason for the hope that you have.
I Peter 3:15