Friday, April 9, 2010

Beep - Beep - Beep

I've been convinced for years that I have some sort of undiagnosed disorder.  I've suffered from symptoms for probably twenty years, and nearly every day I have to accommodate and adapt.

Since it's undiagnosed, I can't tell you what it's called.  But I can tell you my symptoms:

I can't wake up long enough to get out of bed in the mornings.

In high school, my dad would drag me out of bed by my ankles, to which I responded by curling up on the floor to resume my sleep there.

I awoke my first morning at college to my roommate throwing a stuffed animal at me because my alarm was going off...and off...and off...

Last week, after finally reaching an all-time personal record of hitting snooze for an hour and a half and not remembering most of it, I decided it was time to do something about my problem.  (I was only ten minutes late to work, because I schedule time for hitting snooze into my morning routine.)

Sunday night I set my alarm for half an hour later than usual and set it on the floor across the room as far as the cord would reach.  This (in theory) would force me to actually get out of bed to turn off the alarm; therefore, no pre-allotted snooze time needed.

This has worked fairly well so far, but each morning I tolerate listening to that horribly irritating beeping for a few more minutes.  Today it was eight minutes of beeping before I got up to turn it off.

The hardest part of this new routine comes the night before.  It absolutely goes against every fiber in my body to turn out the light and go to sleep with my snooze button sitting beyond arm's reach.  I cannot graciously handle the lack of control over when my alarm is going to go off.

Which is funny, because it would still go off at the same time regardless of where I put it.  But I can no longer control what I do about it.

And you know, I'm sure there is some profound spiritual application to this story, such as letting God have control over circumstances...but at the moment I'm a little tired and can't quite come up with a smooth or coherent lesson.  So I'm going to let you enjoy the story and draw your own conclusions and applications.

5 comments:

DeMo said...

I have that problem too. Except my alarm is on my phone and I learned the other morning that it will quit going off after I've hit the snooze button 9 times.

I think you need a Clocky: http://www.amazon.com/Clocky-Alarm-Clock-Wheels-Almond/dp/B000PWLTNA/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=toys-and-games&qid=1270819648&sr=8-1

Lyla Lindquist said...

I'm thinking I could help you set up multiple alarms, staggered start times. Could even hide a couple in your closet.

Wait.

You slept through the neighbor's garage burning down, firetrucks and all.

Implant. It's your only hope.

kllybdn said...

Ishy! This really stressed me out reading what you go through every morning. Now I'll be worrying and wondering, "Is she up? Is she racing on the roads to get to work on time? Oh dear oh dear . . . " Maybe it'd just be easier to change your personality type.

Elizabeth said...

DeMo - I wonder if we're twins...

Lyla - Hiding alarm clocks was a prank I participated in toward a mean counselor at camp. I think that would make me even crabbier than she was. An implant would probably cause me to amputate my head.

Kelly - No worries. Lyla might tell you otherwise, but I don't speed. :)

Lyla Lindquist said...

Kelly,

No worries, when she doesn't get up I go over to her house to see if she's still alive.

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