Overdue Confessions

I have some 'fessin' up to do.  Remember that one post I wrote back in January?  (Maybe you don't remember me.  Hello, my name is Elizabeth and I used to write.)  I made some non-resolutions for 2011, one of which involved me losing forty pounds by the end of August.  Well, August has come and gone, and I've been a little preoccupied in the meantime, so here's my long overdue update.

I did not meet my goal.

I hate to say that, because now it's going to draw your attention to my body next time you see me, and quite frankly, I prefer to pretend that no one ever notices my physical flaws.  (Kind of like putting my hands over my eyes and playing the if-I-can't-see-you-then-you-can't-see-me game.)  But part of the reason I announced my plan to lose weight in the first place was to have additional accountability.  If I tell you I'm going to do something, then I'd darn well better get it done, even if you never say another word about it.

The eight month weight loss journey was quite amazing in itself, primarily because of the Spirit working in my heart through Lysa Terkheurst's book Made to Crave.  It's an incredible book, and I highly recommend it to any woman who struggles with identity and self-worth.  Anyway, by the beginning of August I had lost twenty-five pounds.  Not that close to my goal of forty, but certainly nothing to be ashamed of.

Unfortunately for my bathroom scale, I let life get the best of me and haven't been able to keep up with my new eating lifestyle.  As a result, I've gained back some of that twenty-five pounds.  However, I can't tell you how much exactly, because (fortunately for my bathroom scale) I've been too afraid to step on to assess the damage.  My pants still fit, so I know I'm still ahead of where I was at the start of the year.

The dust around me is settling just a bit, and I'm hopeful that I can soon pick up where I left off.  The challenging part is examining my motives behind losing weight.  I want to do it for purely selfish and cosmetic reasons.  God wants me to do it because I am to honor Him through obedience and the decisions I make, including the choice between eating a cookie or an apple with my lunch.

Don't hear me wrong - I'm not saying God has pre-ordained every single bite I'm supposed to eat or that I'm only allowed carrot sticks and water (ew).  But I do believe that the quiet decisions I make regarding my food - even cookies vs apples - matters in how He is glorified in my body, which He created for His desires and purposes.  He gave me this body to look after and tend to while I'm on this earth, just like He has given me a job to work at with all my heart (Col 3:23).  It's my job to take care of it to the best of my abilities so that I can offer it back to Him as my living sacrifice (Rom 12:1).  I want to give Him my best.