A Year Changes A Lot

Today is Thanksgiving.  And while I'm thankful for many things, right now I'm mostly just relieved to have a day off.

I do my best thinking in the shower, and this morning my mind wandered through the events of the past 365 days.  I realized this is a bit of a milestone day for me.

One year and about three weeks ago, my dad was diagnosed with cancer.  Again.  I was able to make it home for Thanksgiving with my family, but was worried about going.  Dad had undergone his first round of chemo, and I was nervous to be home in case he was really sick from it.  Sick and I don't do well together.

We celebrated Christmas at Thanksgiving, because I was on call for the Christmas holiday and couldn't get away from work to come home.  As my parents, brother and new sister-in-law, and myself passed gifts, I wondered to myself if this would be our last Christmas with dad here.  I wondered if I would regret missing Christmas day with my family if it was the last one he would be at.  But that Thanksgiving/Christmas was a good one all around.

Four months later, dad went to be with Jesus.

Two months after that, my grandma (my mom's mom and my last living grandparent) joined my dad at Jesus' side.

Now it's my family's first major holiday since all that happened.  I'm over 500 miles away from them, but they're able to be together and I have people here to hang with.  And we have Skype.

So many other things have happened during this past year.  I started having Bible study with another gal from church, and we've built a cool friendship together.  Her family has taken me under their wing (whether they realize it or not)...and continued to stuff me full of food.

I stopped leading Tuesday night worship at church.  It got to be too much and pretty much fizzled out of existence.

On the flip side, our worship team has grown in huge ways, and it's been a privilege to have been a part of that growth.

I trained for and ran a half-marathon, my second.  I did something I swore I'd never do - got up before work each morning to exercise and train.

The house I'm renting went up for sale.  Occasional lookers come by to see it, but no offers yet.  I can't help but wonder if it's worth putting up my Christmas decorations this year in case I have to take them all right down again and move out.

I traded in my Buick for a CR-V.

I shot my first deer - a little eight-point buck.

I remember that a year ago, all I wanted for Christmas was supplies so I could make blankets to give away to people who need them.  I wanted nothing more than to give as much as myself and my resources away.  Today...I wonder what happened to that spark and drive, and when all this selfishness and self-pity crept in.

I have been stretched and challenged in a lot of ways, and I have to admit that most of the time I didn't handle those challenges very gracefully.  In fact, I spent most of them kicking and screaming.  But I am thankful for a loving God Who has unlimited patience with me, Who lets me kick and scream until I wear myself out.  Then, when I decide I'm done, He picks me up and leads me in a better way.  His way.