I felt a little more attached to him than most other patients.  Maybe because I first met him as an outpatient at our clinic a year ago.  Maybe because he's a likeable guy.  Or maybe God was starting a work in my heart.

When he came as an outpatient, I missed the signs that pointed to the return and metastasis of his cancer.  A few weeks ago he came to the nursing home, and we began therapy there while he went through the chemo process.

Monday morning he had a stroke. 

Wednesday night he passed away.

In my work setting, death happens.  It happens a lot.  And for the most part I remain undeterred by it.  But this time one thing haunts me.

I read this verse the other night, and it won't let go of me:

"When I say to a wicked man, 'You will surely die,' and you do not warn him or speak out to dissuade him from his evil ways in order to save his life, that wicked man will die for his sin, and I will hold you accountable for his blood."  -Ezekiel 3:18

I am haunted by this verse, because I had contact with this man multiple times but did nothing to save him from hell.  Maybe he was a believer.  I don't know.  But one thing I do know is this:  if he is in hell, his blood is on my head.  If he is in hell, one day I will have to stand before the LORD of all creation and try to explain why I did not even attempt to save this man's life for all of eternity.

If I had tried and he rejected my words, at least my hands would be clean.  I would have done my part.

But instead I did nothing.

I can hear the arguments rolling in already, so I'll save you the time of leaving them in the comment box.  Some would say, "You're being too hard on yourself.  That's not your job.  You can't be expected to minister to the hundreds of people who pass through your workplace.  Other people are responsible, too."  

Others might say, "Jesus' blood covers all sins.  You don't have to worry about it.  The Old Testament isn't relevant anymore." 

Just a few weeks ago I would have said, "God is going to save those He's going to save regardless of what I do or don't do."

I still believe God is not going to lose any of His children based on my performance; His grace is greater than that.  But we have so softened and remolded and cushionized Christianity that we have lost sight of the Truth.

Picture a road.  One direction leads to town and safety.  The other direction ends in a sudden bridge collapse over a canyon.  I'm traveling toward town, yet I know perfectly well what demise lies behind me.  As I go along my merry way, wouldn't it be just plain responsible of me to do everything in my power to stop every single motorist I meet who is heading straight for the bridge of death?  How ignorant, foolish, unloving, and despicable I would be to only smile and wave politely while we each move in our opposite directions!

God does not change, nor does His Truth.  Thankfully, He is able to provide His own roadblocks to bring people to Himself.  He doesn't depend on me for the salvation of others.  So I don't fear someone spending eternity in hell because I dropped the ball.

But He still holds me accountable.  He commanded me to go and make disciples, to warn people when they are headed to destruction.  What I fear is the Day of Judgment when He looks at my life to see what was so much more important than reaching out to a lost soul.