Refocus

Been trying to write...sort of half-heartedly.  I have ideas, partially formed, resting inside my mind.  Once in a while something stirs them up and I make a mental note to write about it later.  But when I sit in front of this empty white space, my mind takes on the same form.

Empty and white.

Any thoughts I had previously have checked out, and I never know if they'll return.  I could force something into black and white.  But that never feels very good.  Nor does it usually end well.

So I sit back and wait.

I don't want to put something out there that was forced, that was written just for the sake of having something to keep my site hits up.

I want it to be real.

Because who wants to read something shallow and disconnected?  And why should I put thoughts and ideas out there if I'm not actively thinking about them myself?

So I continue to wait.  I don't like knowing that when I miss a couple of days, my readers disappear.  And I don't like that it takes weeks to rebuild that network.

But then I have to remind myself why I'm doing this in the first place.

It's not to have the most readers, or the best stories, or to be a favorite stopping point of fellow bloggers.

I write for the LORD.  At least, I hope and pray that I do.  He gives me the words, and I trust that His words will not return empty and void, but will accomplish their purpose.

It's a fine line to walk, this balance between monitoring my stats and writing because it glorifies God.  But sadly, there shouldn't be a line there at all.  There should be no self in what I say or do.  There should be only Him.