This whole work-every-day-to-make-a-living thing hasn’t proved to be a whole lot of fun for me. I graduated for the final time about a year ago, spent the summer studying to take the physical therapy boards, and then moved to a new state to start my first “real” job in August. So I’ve been working full-time for just over nine months. And wow, what a nine months it’s been.
Not any I’d care to repeat, just for the record.
More and more I’m starting to recognize how much of a journey life is. We’re always (hopefully) moving forward, and each season in life is used to prepare us for the next. But I must say that I liked my previous journeys a little better because they at least had structure to them. Let me explain.
My whole life has been spent working from one goal to the next. I worked my way through school, where my ultimate goal was to graduate from high school. Then my goal was graduating from college. Then graduating from grad school, passing boards, and finding a job. No matter what I’ve been doing, how tedious or fun or difficult it’s been, there’s always been the finish line in front of me. I’ve always been able to see what I was working towards, measure my steps and approach, and then push on to the end. It sure hasn’t always been easy, not by a long shot. But it’s always been tangible, something I could get my head around.
Then life after school began, and things kind of fell apart. Suddenly I no longer had a larger purpose to strive towards. It was wake up early each morning (which has never been something I enjoy), work a long day, get home late, try to get my chores done but run out of time, then collapse in bed so I can sleep for a few hours before waking up to do it all over again. And again. And again. Every single day for the rest of my life. Felt like someone blindfolded me, dumped me in the middle of an ocean somewhere, and told me to swim to shore. How do I get there? Which way should I go? How long will it take? Where are the storms and calm waters? Where am I going to end up?
Not only is there no end in sight to the mundane working life, there are also no breaks or holidays. No summer vacation, no month off at Christmas, no spring or fall breaks. At least they give you a day off for Thanksgiving and Christmas and New Years’…unless you’re on call. Then you have to work on Christmas day (it’s true, I’m on call for Christmas this year).
Now maybe I could have overlooked all these things if I had loved my job and was excited to wake up each morning to get to work. Sadly, it was quite the opposite for me. My job turned out to be quite different than what I initially signed on to do, and not in my favor, so getting out of bed in the morning became quite the chore.
But I digress. I was talking about journeys. Perhaps the marathon type. If any of you have ever participated in sports or trained for anything, you probably know this feeling. Sometimes when you’re in training or even running the race, you hit a point where you’re exhausted, frustrated, and just plain done. But you’re nowhere near the finish line. Your body and mind are screaming to stop, grab some water, and go back to what you were doing before you started this nonsense. That’s how I was feeling. I hated where I was at and just wanted to go back to life before career.
. . . . .
Stay tuned - more to come!
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