This topic has managed to become a series out of control. Only a few more days, and then we can move on. To catch up, start with this link, then go here, then here.
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All of that previous race talk and winning crowns of glory sounds good. But practically speaking, what does it look like?
Honestly, most days you can find me on the side of the road. I’m crabby, tired, and functioning for survival only. I don’t stop to take the extra minute to talk with someone, I rush through all my obligations so I can get done sooner, and don’t give away any more of my time than I have to. I live the entire week for Saturday, and Sunday nights make me sad because I have to start a new week all over again.
How would I like for it to look? I would like to willingly get out of bed each morning and live in each moment of the day. I would like to take unplanned and unpleasant events in stride without letting them do me in. I would like to smile more, make my patients feel more special, and reflect the joy of Christ in every breath I breathe. I would like to willingly offer my time to work late, volunteer for more activities, and make it a point to build relationships in my community.
This journey called life isn’t a short race, like the mile I used to run in middle school, or a 5k that I like to run now. Those races are challenging, but over relatively quickly. This isn’t even like a 10k, which lasts much longer and hurts a little more, but is still over before noon.
No, this race is like an ultra-marathon. (Did you know there are actually people out there who run 50 to 100 mile races? For enjoyment? Makes my voluntary 6 mile runs look a little less crazy, huh?)
Day in and day out I run this marathon God has placed me in. Yeah, I suppose I offered to come along when I signed on to follow Christ. But I thought things were going to look a lot different. I was planning on a sunny day, lots of happiness and excitement for the whole race. Lots of people around to cheer me on and encourage me. Several food and water stations along the way to nourish and refresh me. God would surely bless me with that, right?
Not so much. Lately, it’s cold, rainy, and windy. I’m pretty sure everyone passed me up long ago. I have no idea where this course is going and what’s ahead. All I can see is a huge hill I have to get over. My knees hurt, I can’t breathe, there are no water stations in sight, and I haven’t seen anyone in miles.
Each step on the pavement feels the same. Each day has the same routine. The longer I run the more tired I become. Sometimes obstacles trip me up, or I have to crawl up the big hills. My day doesn’t go as planned. I have to work late. I’m doing things and cleaning up messes that I never saw in my job description. I just want to go home and curl up and sleep for the next month. I’m tired, crabby, and just want time for the things I enjoy.
But it's not about me.
. . . . .
To be continued...
4 comments:
Elizabeth, I am really enjoying this series. Thank you for finding such a great description of what we all go through. Looking foward to reading more!
Thanks, Becky! I'm glad to hear someone else say that - some days I think I'm the only one. Glad you're following!!
Elizabeth, I have really enjoyed reading your blogs and look forward to the next installments. I understand what you mean about the difference in how you feel Friday night versus Sunday night. I've been there and felt that and it's not a fun place. Not that long ago I thought about a completely different career ... and even the Peace Corps sounded appealing. Thankfully, I've gotten past that blah time and it has gotten better. I hold out the same hope for you. Meanwhile, it's truly OK to feel the way you do. The thought of working for so many years truly is daunting.
Diana Watson
Thanks Diana! There have been many days when going back to work at Panera has sounded so much more appealing. Fortunately or unfortunately, the nearest one is a couple hours away. Glad you've been enjoying your visits!
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