Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Now He Sees

On Friday morning I got the call.

By Friday evening I was in the ICU room with my family back in Kansas.

All weekend we stayed together in his hospital room, watching him slowly ebb away.

Tonight at about 10:25, with wife, daughter, son, and daughter-in-law standing around his bed, he slipped from our grasp and into the arms of Jesus.

At 10:30, the four of us huddled together at the foot of his bed and prayed.

At 10:35, we began making our phone calls.

It's a mystery to me, these ten minutes in time and the stretch that followed before we left his hospital room for the last time.  For the final 75 hours of my dad's life, I watched alongside my family as he lost his battle with leukemia.

It was agony for all of us, seeing him struggle to breathe, unable to eat, hooked up to all kinds of lines and monitors.  I dreaded the moment in time when it would all come to an end...yet I didn't want it to continue any longer.

And finally - so quickly we nearly missed it - he was gone.  Peacefully and quietly.

The mystery to me is this:  We cried as we watched him go, and tears still fell as we prayed.  But then there was calm.  Peace.  Joy.  Just as quickly as he left, these things came.  We were able to smile and laugh and rejoice through the tears as we walked away.

The mystery to me is this:  The joy and peace overwhelm the sorrow.  A weight has been lifted from my soul and His burden is light.  There is an ache in my chest, but my heart feels no pain.

The mystery to me is this:  Now he sees clearly.  Now he sees face-to-face.  And it literally takes my breath away to know that he is now standing before the God of the universe.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Thank you from the bottom of my heart to all who prayed, texted, called, emailed, and visited during my dad's final days.  Your prayers sustained us, and your words encouraged us.  God is generous in mercy and blessing, and these blessings He gave us this weekend I would not trade for all the riches in the world.

9 comments:

Lyla Lindquist said...

Sweet one, some day we'll talk about those 15 some minutes of silence on my end, when you quietly slipped away with your family. There was something there I don't have words for yet.

Hold that peace and joy.

I love you. I'll be there soon.

Allison H. said...

I'm so sorry that your dad had to battle this horrible disease. I didn't know him very well at all, but I didn't have to to know that he was a wonderful man of God! I pray that you and your family continues to feel a peace that surpasses all understanding.

DeMo said...

What awesome comfort you have in knowing that your dad is healed. I'm glad that you are feeling peace.

Kelly B. said...

What a lovely lovely tribute E. It made me so grateful to Him to see how He blessed you with peace and joy while simultaneously allowing your dear dad to pass from your presence into His. Again, as your dad has proved, it is not death to die.

Jennifer @ JenniferDukesLee.com said...

I rejoice with you in knowing that cancer did not have the final answer; Jesus did.

My oh my, Elizabeth, the grace that spills from your fingertips here. My heart swells with remembrance, and I'm all a mix of emotions and jumbled words. I don't know what to say other than this:

Your Father and your father have both planted such beauty in you. May you draw from the strength that you've received from both of your Papas. I send you my love... All my love, sweet one.

(I'm running for your dad, too.)

Julie said...

Oh Elizabeth..I am so sorry for your loss but celebrate Heavens gain. It amazes me how God works in our darkest hours...giving us what we need to make it to the next minute.

Someone once told me that when we are in worship we are as close to our loved ones (who have gone home before us)as we can be on this side of heaven. So, when you raise your hands in prayer and praise to your Heavenly Father know that your Dad is doing the same thing...but he has a way better view. :)

Sending you love, hugs and lots of prayers from PA,

Julie

Anonymous said...

I think of one of my favorite worship songs "I Can Only Imagine."

We can only dream of the things that heaven can hold... But it is amazing to imagine....


To imagine the warmth of the Father's arms as he wraps them around your dad, healthy and whole again.

To imagine the fullness of praise and awe in your father's heart as he falls before the Savior.

To imagine the voices of a thousand angels as they welcome your father into his heavenly resting place with a song so beautiful that we can't comprehend

And to think of the days stretching on ahead where there will be no pain. No fatigue. No struggling with human aches or concerns. No chemo. No humdrum of daily life. No worries. Only unending days full of peace, joy, and praise.

Praise God for the belief of heaven, how could we get through grief without it?

And praise him for his grace and peace that he is able to send down to you and your family when you need it the most - that even through the ache in your hearts that you can see the bigger picture.

I pray for continued peace and joy for you all as you put your father's earthly body to rest and remember the wonderful man he was, while remembering that that is only a small specimen of the man he has now become in Heaven.

We'll be waiting for you with open arms back in South Dakota when you are ready.

Love,
Pam

Annie said...

I am deeply sorry for your loss. Yet, your are a witness bringing hope...a life has died but his spirit lives on...forever, in one with God. Blessings and Prayers for your family...

The Youngs said...

Splitter

It is sad when our loved ones go to be in Heaven but what peace it is! Thinking of you and your family!

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